Mimi means it this time

I've said this before, but now is the time that I'll be finishing what I'm starting.  I have finally seen that I can finish my degree.  It will take me a little while because I plan to take a course every 7 weeks with only one or two courses being semester (15 wks) length!  I have always wanted to finish my degree, but have used life and commitments as excuses not too for the last several years.

After our daughter graduated from college, I knew that it was "now my time".  Only at that time, when I took classes, I saw them as "another stress" in my life.  The classes I took went well, but my fulfillment with taking classes was one of "feeling like there was a monkey on my back".  I decided at the end of a difficult course that I was not going to have that "feeling" anymore. 

Or so I thought,  I kept signing up for classes then cancelling, then signing up and cancelling.  When I cancelled out of an elective food-type course (which anyone who knows me knows I work with food alot in my daily life), I knew that it was something deeper!!

I've now realized that I've not kept things in the proper perspective.  I've used going to school as a "mountain" and it's only a "mole hill".  Let me explain!  Finishing my degree is something that I've always wanted to do and have regretted not doing, so when I had the opportunity to do it, I would "choke" and back out.  I didn't have the confidence in myself.  I doubted, I allowed my thoughts to bring doubt and uncertainty to something that was not a burden as much as it was a desire to do something for me. The mountain/mole hill comment is that I was making "going to school" too big of a deal.  It was not my life...it was a very small aspect of my life!!

What a revelation!!!  Though I have a great support group, until I realized that I could do this and not neglect my regular daily life events or feel like I had to do only schooling and give up several other things, again I say, what a revelation. 

I am now in classes and have signed up through the end of December and plan to continue with this last year 1/2 (of classes) to receive my BS in General Studies with an emphasis in Music.  It may take me longer than the year-and-a-half, but I plan to take a class a course time and see where that leads me to my finished goal.

I've found out that "thinking" has been my main downfall!  Sounds odd for someone going back to finish a degree, but it is, or should I say was, VERY TRUE for me...thinking was my downfall.  I always wondered (or thought) I shouldn't do this because...or what if I'm needed to do...or I might have to say no to this......, etc  You see where I'm going with this!!!  I have been finding more and more scriptures in the Bible lately about how we think, is how our life goes.  I've seen through my personal study that God knew that some of us (like me) would  have trouble with thinking and want to return to the negative thinking rather than the positive thinking.  Phil. 4:8  Actually the book of Philippians is a great book about thinking and thinking the right way...centered on God and being centered there is a PEACE that covers all of life's unexpected happenings.  There will be unexpected happenings, but with HIS PEACE, I'm seeing that I'm still able to live life to the fullest and that includes finishing my race....getting my degree!

I'm thankful that I have had this revelation because I truly know that deep-down I have always wanted to finish my degree.  Back in 1980 when I received my AA from Northeastern Christian Jr. College, I planned to "one day" receive my finished degree.  I've been blessed to teach privately and that is something that I am very thankful for, but I also am thankful for this opportunity and know that I can do this because HE continues to help me "think correctly".  GISG!!

I am thankful to those that I have been able to talk to about my lack of peace and self thinking.  I am also thankful for the unconditional love of my husband and his ongoing support!  I am especially grateful for my family and the support and love that they continue to give with all the "ups and downs" of my classes over the years!  I'm also so grateful for my "inner circle" of friends that have been there and continue to be there and are even more supportive now that I'm my confident in my desire!  Girls you Rock!!!

I'm now looking forward to this goal, but still know that I must keep things in balance.  I intend to do my best, but I'm not out to prove that I can be the best non-traditional student Wilmington University ever honored with a degree.  I just want to graduate and know that I gave my best without giving my life away.  Because God blesses me too much with daily blessings for me to sacrifice my established life.  Taking classes is icing on my cake, or the cherry on top of a sundae.  It is just a completion of an already very, very blessed life!